Ascendant Towers of Outright Confusion

  Terror Cow 3rd Level Conjugation  Casting Time: 1 Action  Duration: 1 Minute (Concentration) Range: 60 feet Components: V, S, M (A little milk) When you cast this spell, a spectral cow appears at a point you can see within range. The cow occupies a 5 foot cube. When the cow appears, it moves up 30 feet in a straight line of your choosing. Each creature in that line must make a Dexterity Saving Throw or take 5d6 force damage and be knocked prone. As an action on your turn, you can choose to move the cow in a 30 foot straight line again, with the same affect. The cow cannot move through walls, but it always moves as far as it can if there is space. Any creature within 5 feet of the cow can use an action on their turn to make a Wisdom (Animal Handling) check against your Spell Saving Throw DC. On a success, the cow immediately moves 30 feet in a straight line away from the creature, causing its normal effect, and you are unable to control the cow on your next turn. Any cre...

A few months ago, someone mentioned to me that they thought D&D 5e characters didn't have enough customization options. Well, they said something like that anyway, and it got me thinking about the subject. It's something I hadn't really considered until recently, but the more I think about it, the more I kind of agree. When I first played 5th edition, when I was 12 or 13, I'd already skimmed the AD&D books that my dad had countless times as a kid, and been in one or two 4th Edition games that a friend had run. But 5e was my first time properly reading an RPG ruleset and seriously learning the rules. So when I read the subclass rules, I assumed they were a good customization system. Every class had between 2 and 8 options for how they could specialize. 1st Edition AD&D never had that. I think 4e had something similar, but not until higher levels. So having each class so many options to choose from, seems like it significantly expands your options for what kin...

Ah, the Mystical Blade, my greatest contribution to my 5th Edition D&D group's repertoire of bizarre half-functional homebrew.  I finished it over a year ago and I've spent too much of the past year making jokes about it ad nauseam, so I think it's only logical for it to be my first post here. Plus, it's sort of the namesake of this blog. The short version of it is that the Mystical Blade is a just barely playable, joke hombrew class for 5e D&D. Rather than posting the entire thing on this page, I'll just put a link to the GMBinder page. The Mystical Blade Version 3.0 Now for the long version. Let me give you some background. Two-ish years ago I discovered a website called Botnik . It's a predictive writing program, which basically means you put text documents in it, and it will suggest sentences to write based on that document. The basic version you can use is fairly rudimentary, but it's a lot of fun to mess around with, and it's the kind of th...